What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic Violence is any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality.
Domestic violence can affect anyone. The majority of domestic violence is perpetrated by men against women victims. However, men can also be victims of domestic violence perpetrated by women. Domestic violence can also occur in same-sex relationships. Domestic violence cuts across age, class, wealth, employment status, religion and ethnicity.
It is different from other crimes, as the victim and perpetrator are known to each other and in some cases still love each other. This makes it much more likely that the crime will be committed over and over again, and makes it harder for the victim to contact the police.
Domestic violence is not just physical violence. We now think of domestic violence as a series or pattern of behaviour which lead to one partner having power and control of the other, and other family members.
Among many others, this behaviour may include:
- constant criticism
- pressure
- disrespect
- isolation
- harassment
- constant questioning
- withholding money or other material things
- destroying belongings
- making threats
- being demanding.
There may never be any physical violence in a relationship like this, but the result to the victim can be devastating. In the majority of families where there is domestic violence, children are also victims. They get hurt by accident or the perpetrator may also deliberately harm them. Even if they are not physically hurt, they are always emotionally affected.
You can download a Home Office leaflet about domestic violence and a National Report on Domestic Violence (2005) from the bottom of this page.
How Does Domestic Violence Affect the Community?
If you live near to a family where domestic violence is an issue, you may notice noise and loud arguments coming from the home. You may also notice damage to the house, particularly doors and windows. You may notice that the children do not seem well cared for, or that they are out of the house, hanging around the street a lot. All of these things do not necessarily mean there is domestic violence, but they may be the symptoms of the problem and should not be ignored.
What Can You Do as a Friend or a Neighbour?
All of the above may bother you, and it can be difficult to be sympathetic when you are experiencing problems as a result of someone else’s behaviour. But it important not to blame the family who are going through a difficult time, as this can make the situation worse.
• If you know or suspect an incident is taking place, call the Police on 999.
• If you are worried about the wellbeing of children, you can call Basingstoke Children's Services Department on 01256 362000.
• Keep your own log of any incidents you see or hear, as this may help later if any Criminal Court, Civil Court, Child Protection or eviction proceedings take place.
Do not put yourself at risk, but if you feel it is safe to do so:
• Offer the victim some support, either a shoulder to cry on or a ‘listening ear’. Try not to offer advice unless you have looked thoroughly in to what is best for a victim of domestic violence. Do not criticise the perpetrator as this may make the victim feel they cannot talk to you.
• Offer the victim the opportunity to store a few essential belongings with you, incase they decide to leave.
• Offer to gather some good quality information from the specialist agencies listed on this page.
• Offer to let them use your address for receiving information and messages.
Be aware and understanding if your offers of support are not accepted. Sometimes outside influences can put a victim more at risk.
If it is safe to do so, you could offer the perpetrator a ‘listening ear’, or the opportunity to take some ‘time out’ by coming to you. Only do this if you know the perpetrator well enough to know you are safe in their company when they are wound up.
Again, do not offer specific advice and do not collude in any of the perpetrators blame or anger toward the victim. You could offer to help them get appropriate advice and support from one of the agencies listed below.
What Can I Do if I am a Victim of Domestic Violence?
• Arrange where you might go if you have to leave urgently.
• Find places where you can quickly and safely use the phone.
• Try to save money so that you have bus or taxi fares in an emergency.
• Get an extra set of keys for the house/car.
• Keep the keys, money and anything else you may need in a safe place, should you have to leave quickly.
• Talk to your children. Let them know it’s not their fault. Children do not have to see violence to be affected by it. They hear it, sense it and can be sad and frightened by it.
• Talk to friends, relatives, your doctor, nurse or others about how you feel
Should you decide to leave home try to contact a specailist organisation such as one of those listed on this page first. They will be able to give you some advice on things you may not have thought of, most especially leaving safely.
Consider taking:
- birth and marriage certificates
- school and medical records
- driving licence and car documents
- money, credit cards, cheque books
- passports, work permits, visa (if required)
- medications
- several days clothing
- personal possessions which have sentimental value
- children’s favourite toys.
Local Organisations Which Can Help
Housing and Refuge
Basingstoke Women’s Refuge 01256 350996
Basingstoke & Deane Housing Department 01256 844844
Downland Housing Domestic Violence Outreach 01256 478888
General Advice, Counseling and Support
24hr National Domestic Violence Helpline 0808 2000 247
Victim Support / Witness Service 01256 423860
Samaritans 01256 462333
Relate 01256 324364
Basingstoke Rape & Sexual Abuse Crisis Centre 01256 423810 (office)
01256 423890 (crisis line)
Victim Support Group (based in Hook) 01489 577818
07962 915870
Police and Legal Advice
Citizens Advice Bureau 01256 322814
Basingstoke Police Public Protection Team 01256 405039
Rights of Women 0207 2516577
Hampshire Constabulary 08450 454545
IN AN EMERGENCY ALWAYS DIAL 999
Advice on Children and Family Issues
Childline 0800 1111
Basingstoke Children's Services 01256 362000
Incredible Years Parenting Programme (based in Basingstoke) 02380 213520
DOVE FGC Programme 01256 312232
Young People's informaiton Project (counselling) 01256 332033
Education Welfare Locality Team 01256 816429
Advice on Health
Basingstoke Substance Misuse Service (NHS) 01256 469006
NHS Direct 24 hr nurse advice 0845 4647
Community Midwife Team 01256 313327
North Hampshire Hospital 01256 473202
Alcohol Team (NHS) 01256 818210
Advice for Male Perpetrators
Respect (national helpline) 0845 122 8609
ADPAT (groupwork programme, based in Hook) 02380 213520
Advice for Male Victims
Male Advice Line and Enquiry 0808 801 0327
Domestic Violence Forum
Basingstoke and Deane Domestic Violence Forum is a multi agency group consisting of representatives from 23 organisations whose work touches domestic violence, such as Borough Council, Police, Probation, Health, Social Services, Relate, Victim Support among many others.
The Forum meet on a regular basis. Its aims are to:
• Ensure support is available to victims of Domestic Violence
• Ensure the provision of perpetrator’s programmes
• To minimise the effects of Domestic Violence
• To reduce the impact of Domestic Violence on children and families
• To raise awareness of Domestic Violence, and the effects of Domestic Violence on children
• To develop and promote effective policy and good practice
• To identify gaps in service provision
• To provide a forum for practitioners to have discussions
The aims of the Domestic Violence Forum reflect the main objectives of the Borough’s Community Safety Strategy ‘Aim 2: To reduce hidden violence with specific focus on domestic violence’. Therefore, the aims and outcomes of the Domestic Violence Forum contribute to the local crime and disorder reduction partnership meeting the aims of this strategy.
You can contact the Domestic Violence Forum:
- by phone: 01265 845670
- by e-mail: a.cadden@basingstoke.gov.uk
- by post: Amanda Cadden, Community Safety Officer (DV)
Basingstoke and Deane Borough Council
Civic Offices, London Road
Basingstoke RG21 4AH
Related Links
Basingstoke and Deane Housing
Victim Support (HIoW)
Basingstoke Samaritans
Relate
Hampton Trust
Hampshire Police
Childline
Woman Kind
Rights of Women
Social Services
North Hampshire Hospital
HIoW Against Domestic Violence and Abuse
Home Office
Women's Aid
Refuge
Community Legal Advice
NSPCC
Rape Crisis