Signs of domestic abuse

There are different kinds of abuse, but its always about one person having power and control over another.

If you answer yes to any of the questions in the following sections, you might be in an abusive relationship or experiencing domestic abuse. Support is available for you.

Emotional abuse

Does your partner or someone you live with ever:

• belittle you, or put you down
  
• blame you for the insults or arguments
  
• Deny that any sort of abuse is happening, or downplay it
• isolate you from your family and friends
• stop you going to college or work
  
• make unreasonable demands for your attention
  
• accuse you of flirting or having affairs
  
• tell you what to wear, who to see or where you’re 'allowed' to go
  
• tell you what to think, or dismiss your thoughts, ideas or feelings as unimportant
  
• control your money, or not give you enough to buy food or other essential things
  
• monitor your social media profiles, share photos or videos of you without your consent
  
• use trackers, apps or phones to know where you are, without your consent
  

Threats and intimidation

Does your partner or someone you live with ever:

• threaten to hurt or kill you
  
• destroy things that belong to you
  
• stand over you, invade your personal space
  
• threaten to kill themselves or the children
• read your emails, texts or letters
  
• harass or follow you
  
  

Physical abuse

The person abusing you may hurt, bruise or harm you in a number of ways.

Does your partner or someone you live with ever:

• slap, hit or punch you
  
• push or shove you
  
• bite or kick you
  
• burn you
  
• choke you or hold you down
  
• throw things
  
• pull your hair
  
• block your way out or make it hard for you to get out of the door
  

Sexual abuse

Sexual abuse can happen to anyone.

Does your partner or someone you live with ever:

• touch you in a way you do not want to be touched
  
• make sexual demands of you that you don’t want
• make you watch pornography that you don’t want to watch
  
• hurt you during sex
  
• leave marks or bruises on your body before, during or after sexual activity
  
• pressure you to have unsafe sex – for example, not using a condom
  
• pressure you to have sex or to do sexual things you don’t want to
  
• if anyone has sex with you when you do not want to, this is rape. It is still rape if that person is your partner
  
  

Other questions to consider:

• have you ever felt afraid of your partner
• have you ever changed your behaviour because you're afraid of what your partner might do
• has anyone ever suggested to you that they think you might be in an abusive relationship

For more details about what domestic abuse might look or feel like, visit women's aid website - I'm not sure if my relationship is healthy